Weekend Screen Scene: Gladiator II, Wicked

I was not a big fan of the first Gladiator back in 2000, and I figured it was just because I don't like movies above gladiators. I rewatched it in preparation for Gladiator II and can now safely say I don't like that movie because it's kind of boring! Aside from Joaquin Phoenix's performance, which, love it or hate it, isn't boring, it simply takes itself too seriously.  

Gladiator II does not take itself seriously, and in many ways it is absolutely ridiculous. And that's probably why I liked it.

Just how ridiculous? I'll just say this: the movie has sharks in battle mode, and a monkey elected by a mad emperor to be a Roman consul (a nomination that, after this week, doesn't actually seem that far-fetched). Those two things, along with plenty of anachronisms and implausible plot points steer the film into the realm of silliness, and Denzel Washington's scenery chewing, as a power hungry former slave who hopes to rule Rome, certainly doesn't steer it back on track. It almost made me feel a little sorry for star Paul Mescal, who certainly does seem to be taking the whole thing very seriously, because the insanity that surrounds him actual makes his character a tad underwhelming. And while I'm always happy to see Pedro Pascal (the movie is not lacking for movie star hotness, that's for sure) he felt a little under utilized.

Still, I came away from this very definitely entertained, though I'm not sure it will ultimately result in me thinking about the Roman Empire anymore than I already do, which is to say, never.

In case you've been living under a rock, or under a house that was dropped on you after a tornado, Wicked has arrived. If you're a fan of the stage musical, you've probably been counting the days to release, and have probably already seen it. And if you're not a fan...I'm not entirely sure the movie will make you one.

I read Gregory Maguire's Wicked when it came out, and saw the stage musical back in 2016, but for the life of me, I did not remember a lot of the story, so much of the movie was new to me, with entire characters and plot lines that I had no memory of. I bring this up because Wicked is so much movie, I was convinced they had to have put in all of these things I had no memory of just to pad out what is only the first part of this two part epic. Turns out, that's not the case! And being that the first act of the stage musical is definitely its best act, with the only two really memorable songs in the whole thing, I kind of worry about part two.

This origin story for the Wizard of Oz's, Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, and Glinda the Good, stars Cynthia Erivo as Elphaba and Ariana Grande as Glinda, and I've really got no fault with either of the performances; they both have the vocal and acting chops for their roles, and are both very engaging. But while it does feel like Erivo is really making the part of Elphaba her own, it does feel like Grande seems to be channeling Kristin Chenoweth a lot of the time. (Though that may simply raise the question: how much of Glinda was in the original writing of the part, and how much did Chenoweth instill of herself into it.) 

There is so much in the movie to marvel at, with sets that take inspiration from Gothic, Venetian, and Moorish, and costumes that will make both Barbie girls and gothy gals envious; at times it almost feels overwhelming. And overwhelming is probably the most apt word for the movie as a whole. At about the 90 minute mark of this 160 minute movie I began to feel a little exhausted, so perhaps it's a good thing part two won't show up for another year. And I just hope part two brings us more of Bowen Yang, who, as one of Glinda's school friends, is by far the funniest thing in the entire movie. I demand a Pfannee spin-off!

Weekend Screen Scene - Anora

While I've definitely enjoyed Sean Baker's movies, I don't think I've adored his work as much as many critics seem to; they always just miss the mark of excellence for me. For instance, I thought The Florida Project was marred by the performances of its non-actors, and Red Rocket was about 20 minutes too long.

Anora is probably my favorite film of his so far, elevated by Mikey Madison and her electric performance as the titular Anora, a twenty-three year old exotic dancer and sex worker in New York. One night, because she is the only dancer in her club who speaks Russian, she is encouraged to chat up a young Russian named Vanya, played to perfection by Mark Eidelstein. Vanya takes a liking to "Ani," ultimately paying her for sex, inviting her to his New Year's Eve party, and eventually offering her $15,000 to be his girlfriend for a week. That week leads to a Vegas marriage, which Vanya's oligarch parents back in Russia are none to happy about.

Anora feels almost like three movies. The first third is a fun, gritty take on a Pretty Woman type of story, a whirlwind of sex, drugs, parties, and lavish spending that's intoxicating to watch. The middle third, which brings in Russian and Armenian goons (all excellently played by Karren Karagulian, Vache Tovmasyan, and especially Yura Borisov, as Igor), feels like something from a Safdie brothers movie, a tense night full of potential violence as characters visit multiple New York locations. And the final third brings this Cinderella story to a realistic finish, with a final scene that brought me to tears.

Anora is a movie with faults, but every single performance in it is outstanding, making it easy to overlook some of the story's repetitions and weaknesses.

Weekend Screen Scene - Saturday Night

Saturday Night is a behind-the-scenes drama about the 90 minutes leading up to the 90 minute premiere of Saturday Night Live (then, just Saturday Night) on October 11th, 1974. The story centers on Lorne Michaels (Gabriel LaBelle) as he scrambles to get the bloated premiere down to a reasonable number of sketches and performances, deals with temperamental talent, and continually answers the question from the network execs "what is this show??" with, essentially, a shrug and a "wait and see."

And therein lies the biggest problem with Saturday Night, the movie: it centers on the man who was probably one of the least interesting people in that studio that night.

Of course, all the well known Not Ready For Prime Time Players make an appearance, with Cory Michael Smith's turn as a smug Chevy Chase and Lamorne Morris as Garrett Morris being the most impressive. (The irony that this version of Garrett Morris plays a bigger part in the fictionalized story of the premiere than the real Garett Morris did in the actual premiere is not lost.)

Guests on the show that night included George Carlin (Matthew Rhy) as the host; Billy Preston (Jon Batiste) and Janis Ian (Naomi McPherson) as the musical guests; Andy Kaufman; and Jim Henson's Muppets. But do NOT ask me why Nicholas Braun, the tallest actor alive, plays both Jim Henson and Andy Kaufman.

Watching the mercifully short movie play out, I kept pondering if anyone who has no idea about the history of the show would have any interest in this story, when I, someone who is pretty well versed in the history of the show, could only find mild entertainment in the various "impersonations" that were parading in front of me.

It all feels like a 90 minute build up to the good stuff, which never comes, unless you go home and watch that premiere episode (available to stream on Peacock, along with all 50 subsequent seasons). And it left me questioning director Jason Reitman's choice to champion someone for having a "vision" when that person's constant answer to the question "What even is this show?" is essentially "I don't know."

Weekend Screen Scene: Hold Your Breath

A few weeks back saw the release of Never Let Go, in which Halle Berry plays a possibly insane mother who is doing her best to protect her two children from a potential horror outside their remote cabin. This week brings us Hold Your Breath, in which Sarah Paulson plays a possibly insane mother doing her best to protect her two children from a potential horror outside their remote cabin. Brat Summer is over! It's time for Unstable Autumn!

Unlike Never Let Go's vaguely futuristic setting, Hold Your Breath is set during the dust bowl of the 1930's, and its potential horrors are multi-fold. It's the dust itself, both the cause and result of dried out crops, as it seeps into the home, causing illness. It's the "grey man," which may be a nothing but a spooky story, or may be what's actually hiding in all that dust. It's the "drifter," a man who claims to be a healer, but may be something worse. And it's mama, who has a history of doing dangerous things in her sleep.

Obviously, there's a lot going on in Hold Your Breath, and that's both what keeps it watchable, and makes it frustrating. Paulson holds it all together with her anxiety-inducing performance as the mom slowly losing her grip on...everything, and the supporting cast, including The Bear's Ebon Moss-Bachrach as the drifter, are excellent. Directors Karrie Crouse and Will Joines master the dusty visuals, which may have you instinctively reaching for an N94 mask. It's not the most original of tales, but as far as streaming entries in Unstable Autumn go, it's worth a watch.

Hold Your Breath is now streaming on Hulu.

Weekend Screen Scene: A Different Man, The Wild Robot

 

 

Last week saw the release of The Substance, a black horror comedy about fame, beauty standards, vanity, and identity. This week brings us A Different Man, a black comedy that also touches on vanity and identity, but this time the story centers on a male actor, not a woman.

Sebastian Stan stars as Edward, a struggling actor in New York city. He has neurofibromatosis, which causes extreme facial deformity, so his roles are relegated to things like industrial training films about how to handle tricky situations with disabled coworkers. He lives in a dilapidated apartment with a leaky ceiling, and is in love with his friendly and perky playwright neighbor Ingrid (Renate Reinsve of The Worst Person in the World). When he's approached to partake in a drug trial that may cure his disease, he agrees. The drug works, though the transformation is not pleasant (and is pretty gruesome to watch).

The second half of the movie finds Edward now living a "normal" life, working as a hot shot real estate agent. But his past comes back in the form of Ingrid, now producing her play, and Oswald (Adam Pearson of Under the Skin) a happy and popular man with the same facial deformities that once plagued Edward.

While Stan's facial deformities are the creation of talented makeup artists, Adam Pearson actually does have neurofibromatosis. For both of them, facial movements are limited, and their eyes are partially obscured, yet both are able to give truly memorable performances despite these limitations. 

 

Stan's pre-transformed Edward is slouched and nebbish, clearly trying his best to remain as invisible as possible, but he also exudes a shy charm that his neighbor Ingrid definitely finds herself drawn to. Stan is really, really good in this. 

 

Pearson's Oswald is Edward's complete opposite. He's friendly and gregarious, always wearing something loud, and when he enters a room, he's the center of attention, not because people are horrified but because people are drawn to him.

This is something Edward cannot understand, and the film does some interesting things with his resulting crisis of confidence. It also does some things that are a little muddled, taking the plot near the end of the film in directions I wasn't completely on board with. Still, the performances by Sebastian Stan and Adam Pearson more than make up for any faults of the plot.

 

The animated featured The Wild Robot is based on a series of children's books by Peter Brown, about a futuristic task robot who finds itself on a forest island devoid of humans after a container ship loses its cargo.

Lupita Nyong'o voices the robot "ROZZUM unit 7134," (eventually just "ROZ"), and damn, is there nothing this woman can't do? She's perfect, imbuing ROZ with both robotic imperatives and maternal warmth as she finds herself adopting an abandoned gosling she names Brightbill, accepting motherhood as another task to complete, teaching him to swim and to fly so that eventually he'll be able to leave.

 

The first 10 minutes of the film only feature the voice of ROZ, and I was wondering if it may end up being an entire movie of just a robot talking to animals that don't understand it, but the plot finds a way to work talking animals into the story, so we also get Pedro Pascal as a Fink the Fox, Catherine O'Hara as an opossum mom, and Mark Hamil as Thorn the grizzly bear.

The Wild Robot is one of the most beautiful animated films of the year, with aesthetics that are closer to the hand drawn animation of classic Disney than to most contemporary CGI animated films. It's also one of the most emotionally touching, absolutely earning my tears by the end. It will easily go down as one of the best of the year.

Weekend Screen Scene: The Substance, Never Let Go

There’s a moment near the end of The Substance, director Coralie Fargeat's latest provocative horror movie, where Sue/Elisabeth is getting ready for a big show. She's looking in the mirror, putting earrings on, and the famous Bernard Herrmann music from Vertigo starts to swell in the background. A little while later she faces an angry crowd, yelling back at them that she’s not a monster; that she’s "still the same person!" And I immediately thought, “Oh shit. This movie is about Kim Novak!”

OK, that may stretching it, but no one is going to tell me it was not at least partly inspired by Kim Novak’s 2014 Academy Awards appearance, and the horrible online reactions to her face, which only emphasized the lose/lose situation older women in the public eye find themselves in. Look old, and you're relegated to the sidelines. Do what you can to look "younger," and you risk a botched job and being called a monster.

In The Substance, Demi Moore stars as Elisabeth Sparkle, an actress-turned-TV celebrity who, after her 50th birthday, is fired from her show, as the network head (played, almost too disgustingly, by Dennis Quaid) deems her too old to host. She receives a mysterious offer to try something called "the Substance," which promises her regained youth, with a catch: she must live one week as her own age, and one week as a younger version, switching back and forth every seven days. Don't make the switch, and bad things will happen.

Bad things happen.

Margaret Qualley plays the youthful version, who deems herself just "Sue." She instantly gets hired for a new version of the show Elisabeth was fired from. That the show, supposedly a monster hit, is, essentially just an exercise show (it brought to mind the ridiculous Aerobisize videos from the early 80's), reducing her stardom to, literally, just her tits and ass, is one of the many ham-fisted details in the film; this is not a subtle movie. But that is not a criticism, per se. I think it's very much by design - everything in it is an off-kilter or exaggerated version of celebrity life, from its version of Hollywood, which consists of seeminly one palm tree-filled street, to billboards that face into apartments and not the city below. Setting The Substance in this bizarro version of L.A. better prepares you for the completely unrealistic way "the Substance" itself works.

This tone can often throw the movie into camp territory, but what saves it from become something you'll do nothing but laugh at are how fiercely Moore and Qualley throw themselves into their roles. This is not a tame horror movie; it is at times really horrific, a result, much of the time, of how committed the two actresses are to just going full throttle into it. More than once I was reminded of Isabelle Adjani's remarkable turn in Possession. This is no holds barred body horror that even Cronenberg could see as going too far. (Along with many Cronengberg films, it also briefly brought to my mind 1989's insane Society).

Yes, The Substance is not subtle, but neither is removing fat from your ass and injecting it in your face. Surgeries and treatments to prolong youth can be gory; the self-inflicted violence some women feel compelled to commit on themselves because society has deemed them no longer fuckable, or sellable, or just...able may not be as horrifying as some of what The Substance shows us, but it can still be pretty damn horrifying, and in the end, you may still just be called a monster by a crowd that once claimed to love you.

In Never Let Go, Halle Berry plays a mother trying to survive in the woods with her young twin sons after an evil has taken over the world, turning everyone into literal monsters. An old family cabin provides shelter, and the family is protected as long as they are inside, or tethered to the house via long ropes tied around their waists.

It becomes clear pretty early on that mom may not be entirely sane, and the fact that only she can see the "demons" haunting the woods gives credence to that. The first half of the movie plays with that notion, but knowing that all of this horror may just be in her mind actually makes the film a tough watch. If she is imagining all of this, then what she is putting her boys through is essentially horrific child abuse, and the question becomes, what is the real horror?

I won't say where the movie lands, but I will say, after what is a pretty shocking twist about three quarters of the way through, it heads in a direction I would have been satisfied with, and then veers off towards an ending that, to me, did not make a lot of sense. Never Let Go has good performances from Berry, and Percy Daggs IV and Anthony B. Jenkins, the young actors playing her sons, and being a movie set in an old cabin in the woods, it has some good scares. But in the end, it just lost me

Weekend Screen Scene: The Greatest Hits, The Beast, Sasquatch Sunset

If you've gone through a heartbreak, and are of a certain age, there's a good chance you've made a mix-tape, or mix CD, or playlist, of all the songs you associate with that heartbreak. It's a kind of audible time capsule. Listening to those mixes can bring back the good and the bad memories, and are, in a sense, a sort of time travel.

The Greatest Hits, which is now streaming on Hulu, takes that concept, and makes it literal. Lucy Boynton stars as Harriet, a young woman in L.A. who is trying to get over the loss of her boyfriend, but is having a hard time of it because whenever she hears certain songs she associates with Max (David Corenswet), she is transported back in time to when they first heard the song together. But nothing she can do in the past seems to change the outcome of tragedy. Then a new man (Justin H. Min) enters her life....

The movie is brisk, and wastes no time setting up the concept, and while it's dealing with some heavy themes of loss and trauma, it's still fun, as many time travel movies can be. If I have any complaint it's that very few of the "transporting" songs, aside from a good Roxy Music needle drop, are memorable, but that just may be my Gen-X sensibilities speaking.

Bertrand Bonello's The Beast is another unique science fiction take on love and trauma, starring Léa Seydoux and George MacKay as star-crossed lovers in the years 1910, 2014, and 2044. In all of her "lives" Gabrielle (Seydoux) has interactions with a man (MacKay) who is sometimes a potential lover, and in others, a possible foe.

In 2044, Gabrielle (Seydoux) agrees to a procedure that "purifies" her DNA, relieving her of the trauma of her past lives so that her current life will be free of "strong feelings." She agrees to this, ostensibly as part of a job requirement. 

And it was just as I was writing this that I realized it all sounds very Scientology, though I am pretty sure that is not writer and director Bertrand Bonello's intent here, as it also seems to be critical of the Buddhist concept of past lives as well. In many ways, it feels very Lynchian, and Bonello fills the film with some remarkable imagery. Seydoux and MacKay inhabit all of their past and present lives with a sense of longing and the inevitability of that "beast" known as fate. I'm not sure I completely understood it, but it definitely left me thinking about it for days.

Sasquatch Sunset is like a nature documentary but with all the gross stuff kept in - screwing, puking, crapping, and pissing. The film follows a family of Bigfoots (Bigfeet?) in the densely forested hills of Northern California. The nameless Sasquatch (Sasquatches?) are an alpha male (Nathan Zellner), a female (Riley Keough), a beta male (Jesse Eisenberg), and an adolescent (Christophe Zajac-Denek). We watch as they sit in fields and munch on leaves, set up shelters, mate, frolic with fellow woodsy creatures...and get high as hell on things like fermented berries and magic mushrooms.

As the film is essentially a silent one, with no dialogue, there is a lot of physical humor, and some surprising moments of pathos. Riley Keough gives the best performance behind the (very good) prosthetics, using just her eyes, and sometimes, a complete lack of expression, to elicit both laughs and tears. But there's a reason your average nature show or doc is only an hour long - they can get a bit monotonous, and at 90 minutes, Sasquatch Sunset feels stretched thin. I definitely appreciated it (the final image is perfection), but came away wanting less instead of more.

Weekend Screen Scene: DogMan

I'll get this out of the way first: DogMan has a large cast of dogs, but none die in the film. There is some implied violence against dogs, but this takes place mainly off-screen.

With that out the way, I have to say, this is the most insane tribute to dogs ever put on screen. At times, I was absolutely howling with incredulous laughter, at others I was completely confused, and by the end, I'll admit, I shed a tear.

In cinema's craziest hero (or villain??) origin story, Caleb Landry Jones stars as Douglas, survivor of an abusive childhood where he was kept in a cage with dogs his religious father bred for dog fighting. This childhood appears to take place in the 1940's, for reasons not fully explained, since the majority of the movie takes place in modern times. Years in that cage left Douglas partially paralyzed, and really, really good with dogs. Like, really good. And he uses that skill for both good (protecting a family from a local gang) and evil (let's just say his dogs make good cat thieves).

Luc Besson does not make subtle movies, and he has, once again, gone completely gonzo here. I feel like it's best to go into this knowing very little, so I will simply add that DogMan also includes perhaps the best drag rendition of an Edith Piaf song every performed, if there were any justice in this world, Caleb Landry Jones would be getting an Oscar nomination come 2025, and leave it at that.

Weekend Screen Scene: Carol Doda Topless at the Condor, Riddle of Fire, Late Night with the Devil

It's odd to think that there is not a time in my life when I was not aware of Carol Doda, even if it was just knowing there was a giant sign of a lady with blinking boobs to be seen any time the family ventured to North Beach. But that was just part of the joy of growing up in San Francisco in the 1970's and 1980's. 

The new documentary Carol Doda Topless at the Condor aims to expand that awareness past the City limits and decades past by centering Doda as a cultural revolutionary, even if she didn't necessarily see herself that way. Co-directors Marlo McKenzie and Jonathan Parker utilize previously recorded interviews with Doda herself (she died in 2015), along with commentary from fellow North Beach performers, and a few cultural academics, and pair it up with an impressive amount of archival footage and photos to help flesh out a portrait of Doda, who was notoriously cagey about her personal life. 

It's definitely entertaining seeing Doda's trajectory from cocktail waitress, to go-go dancing cocktail waitress, to featured dancer, to the country's first topless dancer (kind of), to topless and bottomless dancer, the uproar all of that caused, and her ultimate status as a San Francisco icon (the city's other "twin peaks"). But I actually found some of the stories shared by her fellow entertainers even more enjoyable. (I can't believe I was too young to check out the stripper with the pet monkey!) 

Carol Doda Topless at the Condor is less about Doda and more about the cultural shift she helped spearhead, intentionally or not. And while it left me wishing I could know a little more about the woman herself (the interviews they do include show she was a really witty woman), as a portrait of San Francisco in the late late 1960's and early 1970's, it's tops.

The 1970's were also brought to mind while watching the indie gem Riddle of Fire, even though the film is contemporary. Shot on 16mm, in gloriously yellowish tones, the movie looks and feels like a b-movie of that era, perhaps something that may have played as the second film in a double feature with a live action Disney movie in 1977.

When I tell you it is an epic fairytale about three kids on a quest to find a blueberry pie for their ailing mother, it probably sounds pretty saccharine, even though that is in fact the bare bones plot. But these adolescent kids also ride dirt bikes, carry paint ball guns, swear occasionally, and are in search of this pie because it's the only way their mom will give them the password to the TV so they can play the new video game console they stole. Along their quest they also run afoul of a gang of poachers, lead by a possible witch, who puts their lives in danger.

Not so saccharine!

I was enchanted by this oddball film, and director Weston Razooli's commitment to its unique tone. The rural Wyoming setting is photographed beautifully, and the soundtrack brought to mind scores by Tangerine Dream and Goblin (along with an actual needle drop from the film Cannibal Holocaust). Letting three actors under the age of 14 carry a movie is always a risky move, especially for a first time filmmaker, but I was really impressed by the performances Razooli got from Phoebe Ferro, Skyler Peters, and Charlie Stover. Sure, at two hours long, Riddle of Fire could have used a bit of trimming, but I was also a little sad to see the adventure of Alice, Jodie, and Hazel come to an end.

The 1970's strike again with the horror movie, Late Night with the Devil,  about a talk show that had one really, really horrifying Halloween special back in 1977. 

The film is presented as a mockumentary about a fateful episode of Night Owls with Jack Delroy, a late night talk show constantly competing against the success of The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson. After tragedy befalls host Jack Delroy (played to perfection by David Dastmalchian), he attempts a comeback with a Halloween episode featuring a medium, the author of a book about a demon possession, and the possibly possessed girl, and a former magician-turned-skeptic who's there to debunk it all.

The parts of the film that are the "actual" episode of the show are absolutely terrific, with the production design, late night style jokes, and performances completely nailing the tone. Which is why it's so disappointing that the movie doesn't stick with that, instead inserting "behind the scenes" footage supposedly shot during the show's commercial breaks. This footage makes absolutely no sense on a practical level (why was it shot? Why does it involve multiple cameras? Why do none of the performers ever acknowledge it's happening?) and also completely disrupts the realistic feeling of the TV show. 

The whole "mockumentary" set-up is also pretty much dropped for an ending that goes off the rails, but, ironically, could have worked perfectly had they stuck to the premise. Still, enough of the movie succeeds that I can forgive it its trespasses, even while hoping for an alternative cut that just features that Night Owls with Jack Delroy Halloween episode of 1977.

Weekend Screen Scene: The Taste of Things, Perfect Days

I watched the French film The Taste of Things on Thanksgiving morning. This was both a good and a bad thing. Good because it definitely made me hungry for the meal to come. Bad because nothing I was going to eat that day would ever taste as good as the food in this movie looks.

Juliette Binoche stars as Eugènie, a chef in 1885 rural France. She works with famed gourmand Dodin Bouffant (Benoît Magimel) and has for over 20 twenty years. The film opens with an extended and almost dialogue free sequence that watches them (and mainly her) preparing a feast, from picking the vegetables in the garden, to the chopping, stirring, cooking and baking required. By the end of this scene you'll be craving more than popcorn, as director Trần Anh Hùng photographs all of this food prep with a hungry and admiring eye.

Food in the film is many things. It's a tool for teaching. It's the center of gatherings and celebrations. And ultimately, it's an act of love. There's a romance at the center of The Taste of Things, and how it plays out is much like a good meal, and life. A lot of prep, rapturous enjoyment, and it's all over way too quickly.

The days lived out in Perfect Days may not seem so perfect on the surface. Kōji Yakusho gives a calm and almost silent performance as Hirayama, a toilet cleaner in Tokyo. His daily life doesn't vary much. He wakes up, folds up his bed, tends to his plants, grabs a coffee from a vending machine, listens to his favorite music on cassettes on the drive to his job of cleaning a variety of public toilets in Tokyo. After work, he eats at the same food stall every night, and then reads before bed. Sometimes he'll grab a steam and a shower at a bath house. On weekends, he does laundry. But all through this he exhibits a genuine appreciation for his quiet life, and the simple pleasures and beauty around him.

And yes, on the surface this may sound exceedingly boring. But director Wim Wenders is no stranger to making the mundane and repetitive hypnotic and soothing. The calmness in Hirayama may remind you a bit of Harry Dean Stanton's Travis in Wenders's1984 film Paris, Texas. In both Travis and Hirayama, still waters run deep. There are hints of trauma and possible addiction in Hirayama's past, lending a possible explanation for his structured day-by-day life. The definition of a "perfect day" may be subjective. But when you realize that in an entire lifetime, the majority of your days are going to be filled with the mundane, it's a good idea to makes those days as perfect as possible.

Weekend Screen Scene: Argylle

The studios really want to keep the twists in the new spy thriller Argylle heavily guarded secrets, but here's one thing I will spoil, for those who, like me, go into certain kinds of movies with apprehension: the cat lives. (Also, for the vast majority of the movie, that cat is pure CGI, so don't be too concerned by the fact that it gets tossed around an awful lot.)

The marketing ploys surrounding the film--that the movie is adapted from a book by someone named Elly Conway, an author that doesn't really exist, and is actually the protagonist in the movie, unless, of course this whole thing really came from the mind of none other than TAYLOR SWIFT!--are ultimately more intriguing than the actual movie, which is not clever enough to support the multiple twists and turns of its plot.

Bryce Dallas Howard stars as Elly Conway, author of a series of popular novels centered on a spy named Agent Argylle. There appears to be a movie within the movie, in which Henry Cavill plays Argylle, although as with most things in Argylle, the logic of that conceit does not make a lot of sense. Sometimes Argylle appears to be a figment of Conway's imagination. But does he look like Henry Cavill because of a movie? Or is this just how Elly imagines him to be? And if its that, then why does the ending include --

Whoops, nope. No spoilers!

Sam Rockwell also stars as a real life spy (maybe!) out to help Elly when she finds herself embroiled in some real life espionage (MAYBE!). If the film has anything going for it, it's the cast that includes supporting roles and cameos from the likes of Catherine O'Hara, Samuel L. Jackson, Dua Lipa, and Bryan Cranston, amongst many others. And Sam Rockwell and Bryce Dallas Howard both make the film at least tolerable when they're on screen together. (Also, Sam Rockwell gets to dance, which is always a bonus.)

Matthew Vaughn movies can usually be counted on to at least have enough outrageous action and violence to keep you engaged, but Argylle feels phoned in, and is too long by at least 30 minutes; some parts are downright boring. Movies like this are only rewarding when, in the end, all the seemingly crazy parts fall into satisfying place, and in this one they most certainly do not. But at least that cat always lands on his feet.

Best of 2023: Number One

I came out of my first viewing of Poor Things feeling much like its heroine, Bella. I wanted more of it and as soon as possible. I had to wait a few weeks for that second helping, and it confirmed what I had suspected, that this was my favorite movie of the year.

I mean, the movie is almost a Stefon worthy collections of things I love! Slapstick comedy; Emma Stone; huge sleeves on dresses; retro-futuristic cityscapes; Mark Ruffalo; a BULLDOG GOOSE.

There really is too much visual spender in the movie to catch in a single viewing, and I also found a second viewing really helped me appreciate Emma Stone's tour de force performance as Bella Baxter. Just what Bella is, is laid out slowly in the film, by watching it a second time, with that full knowledge, I was able to really understand just what she was playing, and it's simply brilliant.

My favorite take, which I read on Letterboxd, is Poor Things is Barbie, if Weird Barbie were the lead. And indeed the films do offer similar journeys of self-discovery for its two leading ladies, though Poor Things is in no way for kids; if I have any complaint about it, it's that there is maybe, just a little too much sex. Although, I think that ultimately works well to illustrate the journey Bella is on. Like all good things, too much can actually lead to displeasure.

And because this post has been delayed way too long I'll end with three more things that made me love Poor Things.

- That Bella, who for the first part of the movie is essentially a toddler, dresses how a toddler would dress herself, with no regard to what is "right," but only what she likes. And if that means a huge frilly top, tap pants, and boots, so be it.

-  When Bella is annoyed by crying at a table next to her and says,  "I must go punch that baby."

- When Max (Ramy Youssef) does not get angry about Bella's stint at a Parisian brothel and instead says, "It is your body, Bella Baxter, yours to give freely." I know it's kind of an obvious line, but it absolutely made me tear up.

And with that said, let me end with some of the films that did not make my top five, but would definitely be in my top ten:

The Zone of Interest

Barbie

The Taste of Things 

Bottoms

Past Lives

Best of 2023: Number Two

I braved the almost three and half hour running time of Killers of the Flower in a theater, and I will say, I was never bored; didn't even take a bathroom break. And that's coming from someone whose chief complaint about movies these days is they're too damn long. But Killers of the Flower Moon almost didn't feel long enough. I could have watched Scorsese align the crimes committed by these early twentieth century white men with crimes committed by his later twentieth century white men for two more hours. At least!

By making changes to the structure of the story, versus how the story is relayed in the book, he turns it into a classic Scorsese set-up. It is no longer a whoddunit. It is a "these assholes did it" story, and that makes it all the more horrifying and heartbreaking, especially in the context of the central "love story" between Mollie (Lily Gladstone) and Ernest (Leonardo DiCaprio). How could he do what he does to her? But then again, how could we do what we did to the natives of this continent?

Lily Gladsstone's Mollie is the heart of the film, and her performance is so luminous, the film would not be as good without her. And that comes back to my wanting even more of it, and especially her.

I know there have been some complaints about how this story perhaps should not have been told by a white man, and how the story centers more on the whites, and not the Osage. I get that. But Scorsese is also our greatest living filmmaker, and his making this movie means that many, many more people will now learn about this horrible history.

If I have any complaint about the film it's that the Ernest character is so evil, and so dumb. It was at times difficult to watch that for over three hours. And Scorsese is no stranger to centering his films on dumb, bad men! But in all of those other films, I've found something to identify with, or sympathize with, or even root for. But not here. Ernest's crimes, this nation's crimes, are just too horrible.

Killers of the Flower Moon will begin streaming on Apple TV+ on January 12th.

Best of 2023: Number Three

I'm someone who cries at the movies a lot, but I'm also someone who can be pretty cynical when it comes to films that are manipulative tearjerkers. But every now and then, a movie can be both manipulative and feel completely heartfelt, and All of Us Strangers is one of those movies.

I mean, it centers on a lonely man who reconnects with his parents....who died when he was twelve. Like, "pause for audience tears" can basically be written into a script with a concept like that! Add to that a burgeoning romance with a slightly mysterious neighbor, and the fact they these two men are played by Andrew Scott and Paul Mescal, two actors who just ooze charisma and soulfullnes, and you've got a movie that earns its tears.

I'll also have to admit one other factor that contributed to my absolutely dissolving into a teary mess at the film's end, and that's the use of a song I listened to obsessively when it came out in 1984; "The Power of Love" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood. (Side note: I do NOT remember them--the band behind "Relax"!--releasing a Birth of Jesus-themed video for the song! That's a plot twist!) Hearing that song during the film's finale brought up a TON of feels, and I was an absolute sobbing mess. I didn't think I'd ever emotionally recover from it.

And then a week later I just had to watch the movie again. That says it all.

All of Us Strangers is currently playing in theaters.