Weekend Mullings - Primetime | The Heart of the Beast

I'll fully admit that To Catch a Predator was one of my guilty pleasures back when it was still airing. I remember one weekend some cable channel aired a marathon, and I watched every damn episode in that marathon. And yes, I felt pretty gross about it afterwards. 

And to be honest, I felt a bit of the same after watching Primetime. 

Primetime is a weird movie, centered on a weird performance by Robert Pattinson as Predator host Chris Hansen. It's less an impersonation than an interpretation, in which Hansen is calm and collected when facing down predators on TV, but a brooding and manic mess in his off-screen life. Pattinson takes some big swings with this performance, and I will not soon forget the way he spits mouthwash into a sink, or uses his finger gun to point at someone's crotch and slowly mouth the word "cock." I'm not sure it entirely works, but it's fascinating to witness.

Set in 2006, the year when Something Bad Happened during the production of the show (a spoiler only to those who have never heard of or watched the show, I imagine), the film is not subtle in its messaging that the pedophiles in the show's cross-hairs weren't the only morally questionable people in that production. 

Along with Hansen, there is Merritt Weaver as Hansen's producer, who blanches when offered a job on What Would You Do? the "feel good" version of TCAP, because she doesn't think "feel good" is really her forte. Jeff Zucker, the head of NBC is, wildly, played by Jeff Zucker himself, and his biggest concern is ratings, and finding bigger and badder pedophiles to feature in the show's new time slot against Lost.

The one sympathetic character is Dan Plumb (Skyler Gisondo), an actor hired as one of the show's "decoys," a handful of adult actors that looked and sounded a lot younger than they actually were. He's excited that the role could finally get him his SAG card, but his first day on set goes about as horribly as one would imagine it could when one is forced to essentially perform improv with a pedophile. 

Director Lance Oppenheim has only directed documentaries prior to this, and indeed has the very buzzy documentary You Can See Everything, co-directed by Nathan Fielder, coming out next month. And at times Primetime does feel like a documentary, utilizing the multi-camera set-up of the Predator show, and split screens showing multiple angles. But the majority of the picture is filmed in a murky, overly color saturated style that is ugly and off-putting. Perhaps intentionally so.

To Catch a Predator was ostensibly about catching pedophiles before that could harm any children, but the fact is the majority of sex crimes against children are committed by adults the children know, not strangers, and ultimately the show did not have a very high conviction rate. It was always really about entertainment, not justice. I would never go so far as to say I felt sorry for any of the men who were caught by To Catch a Predator's cameras, but I also don't feel comfortable making some kind of moral equivalence between them and the people who created the show, which is the stance Primetime seems to be taking. Yes, perhaps they were all terrible. But please let's not pretend one group wasn't worse than the other.

You're pretty much guaranteed tears when a movie is about a dog, even if the dog survives, which it does in Heart of the Beast. (That's not a spoiler; we learn this at the very beginning of the movie). I was never bored during the film, and much of it is genuinely exciting. But a lot of it is also downright ridiculous, and when I found myself laughing as I was detailing some of the plot later, I realized all you'd really need to do to turn this movie into a comedy is change the soundtrack.

Brad Pitt stars as Special Forces veteran James Belmont. His dog Odin (played by a dog named Uber) is also a veteran, and they both suffer from PTSD. That PTSD results in nightmares that wake them up screaming. Or howling, as the case may be. 

When James suffers a heart attack while flying his floatplane through the Alaskan wilderness, Odin is sucked out of the plane as it crashes. Both manage to survive the crash, Odin after taking a long nap, and James after downing some aspirin. The rest of the film finds James and Odin trying to make their way out of the wilderness with only a few tools recovered from the crash. 

Things don't go smoothly. 

Granted some of what befalls the duo is just bad luck. But an awful lot can be chalked up to bad decision making on the part of so-called Special Forces veteran James Belmont. Such as coming across a ravine and deciding to cross on a fallen tree instead of taking the long way around. Because surely a three-legged dog won't have a problem walking across a slippery tree trunk, right? 

Or, upon discovering they are being stalked on all sides by wolves, deciding to continue walking through the woods in the dead of night, but non-nonchalantly; like pretending the wolves aren't there will somehow make them go away. Because I guess wolves are just bullies that get bored if you ignore them.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg of what befalls James and Odin. I'm actually surprised they don't run into trouble with an actual iceberg at some point. I'll freely admit I'm probably an outlier, and most people will find Heart of the Beast to be an exciting and heartwarming adventure story, and not preposterous and unintentionally funny like I did. But I've definitely had more fun laughing about this movie as I described it to friends and family than I had watching it.

Weekend Mullings - The History of Concrete | Resident Evil | The Weight

I was really sad when the HBO series How To with John Wilson came to an end in 2023, so hearing Wilson was coming out with a feature length documentary called The History of Concrete was definitely happy news, even if I wasn't entirely sure what this documentary would be like. Turns out, it is essentially a feature length episode of How to, and this is both a good and a bad thing.

For those not familiar with the show, each episode would, essentially, feature John Wilson, mainly as an off-screen narrator with a video camera, investigating topics, often centered on things in which he could offer advice, but would very rarely truly be about the topic at hand. For example, an episode about "How to Cover Furniture" finds Wilson pondering hostile architecture and how it's used to control human behavior; discovering the world of art replication; and meeting a man who is trying to regrow his own foreskin. All of this is accompanied by the "b-roll" footage Wilson shoots (primarily in New York, but also any other city an episode may find him), that offers hilarious visual commentary on what is being discussed.

So, you can be sure The History of Concrete is not really about the history of concrete, although it definitely covers more about concrete than most people would ever hope to know. Instead, it's about John Wilson trying to figure out what to do now that he doesn't have a TV show; the impermanence of so many things that encompass a city; and, ultimately, the fragility of life. That last bit comes via Wilson's chance meeting with the lead singer of a heavy metal cover band, and the truly unexpected place that story leads.

But does all of this work as a theatrical feature? That's not something I can really answer, as I watched it at home, on TV, via a screener, so it just felt like I was watching his TV show. But I do have my doubts. For one thing, it is very clearly shot on video, and that can be an unsatisfying visual experience in a theater. For another, I am not sure this is the best introduction to John Wilson's style of documentary. What works in a 30 minute format may feel a little indulgent at 90 minutes, especially to someone new to his work.

I really can't imagine there will be a lot of people coming to the theater truly hoping to learn the history of concrete, but I am sure some people coming into it will come away very confused. For me, I was just happy to see the world through John Wilson's eyes again. 

When I first heard Zach Cregger's next movie was going to be a Resident Evil reboot I was confused. It just didn't seem like the logical next step in his career. When I learned it would center on a dude, I was a little annoyed. While the Resident Evil movies haven't been my favorite, I have appreciated that it is a horror action franchise with a kick-ass woman at its center, and learning a reboot was doing away with that aspect and sticking a bumbling guy at the center just felt regressive.

But what Cregger has given us is less a reboot, or sequel, as it is a Resident Evil story as seen through the eyes of a NPC (non-playable character) from one of the video games. And really only the second half of the movie feels similar to Resident Evils of the past. The first half is exactly what Cregger has given us thus far: a horror movie filled with impeccably timed scares and comedy. 

Austin Abrams, who was so memorable as the drug addict in Cregger's Weapons, is Bryan, a medical courier who agrees to a last minute delivery to Raccoon City. Along the way he encounters an every growing string of improbabilities, including driving through a snowstorm and striking a random wandering woman with his car; a police escort to the hospital that goes awry; and increasing encounters with monsters straight out of John Carpenter's "The Thing."

And that's just the first half. By the time he makes it to Raccoon City, the video game influence is in full effect. But what makes this a Zach Cregger version of a video game movie is that Bryan is a terrible at almost all of the missions and puzzles he's faced with, to comedic effect. He is constantly explaining that he's not good with guns, and then demonstrates that repeatedly. He tosses away objects that would obviously be useful later. He doesn't pay much attention to signage. And while I probably enjoyed the more "Cregger-esque" first half, by the movie's end I was really wishing a "Try Again" prompt would flash across the theater's screen and I could start it all over again. Hopefully, a sequel will fulfill that wish.

The Weight would actually make an excellent double feature with Zach Cregger's Resident Evil, as both are centered on perilous journeys involving precious cargo, though the men in The Weight don't have monsters to content with, at least not the living dead kind.

The Weight is a throwback crime drama that brings to mind classics like The Treasure of the Sierra Madre and The Sorcerer. Ethan Hawke stars as Samuel Murphy, a Depression-era widower who is separated from his young daughter when he is sent to a work camp after getting caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. When Murphy proves himself trustworthy to the crooked warden Clancy (Russell Crowe), Clancy promises him early release if he will put together a team of men to smuggle gold through the Pacific Northwest mountains before the government takes control of it. 

The journey is of course rife with the perils of backwoods travel, along with treachery and betrayal, and director Padraic McKinley keeps the story moving at a satisfying clip, introducing memorable characters along the way. I continue to be surprised and delighted by Ethan Hawke, and what a grizzled character actor he is in movies like this. His Murphy is an honorable man amongst thieves, and the type of hero Hollywood, and frankly the world, seems to have forgotten of late.

Weekend Mullings - Onslaught

Onslaught, Adam Wingard's return to the world of smaller budgets and ultra violence, after helming two Godzilla x King Kong movies, supposedly takes place in the same "universe" as his previous films The Guest, and You're Next. So, basically a universe where military and ex-military can invade homes and violently murder civilians? Which is to say, the U.S.?

Fine. Unstoppable, conscience-free super soldiers are not yet a thing (that we know of!), but heavily armed and masked government "law enforcement" is not as shocking a sight as it may have been even three years ago. And perhaps that's why Onslaught isn't quite as fun as it's intended to be.

Adris Adjora stars as Celeste, a veteran with obvious PTSD who manages a trailer park in a small town in New Mexico. She's also a single mom dealing with the unexpected arrival of her daughter, Daisy (Blake Kennedy) on a weekend that's not "hers."

And what's worse than dealing with a child when you're not prepared to? Dealing with a child while also having to protect that child from three murderous super soldiers who have escaped from a secret government lab run by a pale German scientist (Dan Stevens) who is almost definitely descended from actual WWII-era Nazis.

Wingard isn't subtle when it comes to his 80's movie influences. From using John Carpenter's favorite font in the opening credits, to the synth-heavy score, to the figures with glowing eyes, framed ominously in the foggy distance. Center the film on a tough broad protecting a kid from relentless killers, and there's your two James Cameron influences. 

These tributes to the genre greats, and to the grindhouse era of filmmaking in general, are enjoyable, and Adjora's Celeste is fierce an refreshingly complicated heroine. But that's mixed in with some modern vibes that made me a little uneasy. I'll admit I was glad when the super soldiers eventually have to resort to weapons other than guns, as watching mass shootings in a brightly lit convenience store just feels a little too real to be entertaining these days.

And I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think the movie is too short! The onslaught in Onslaught is relentless and filled with some intriguing side characters. But the end of that onslaught felt a tad anti-climactic - unless we are given the sequel it very obviously sets up.

Weekend Mullings - It Ends | Coyote vs. Acme

It Ends is the third horror movie this year that deals with familiar, but also eerie, and seemingly endless, locations where characters find themselves trapped. Backrooms offered a scenario in a vast liminal space within a furniture store. In Exit 8 a man finds himself stuck in a looping Japanese subway station with strict rules he must follow in order to gain an exit. And now we have It Ends in which a car full of recent college grads find themselves on an endless road they can't escape. 

All of these scenarios are similar, but to me, this one sounded like it would be the most tedious to sit through. Turns out it was my favorite of the three, by far.

Maybe it was the nostalgic Blair Witch vibes I was getting at the beginning, as four friends (played by excellent newcomers Phinehas Yoon, Akira Jackson, Noah Toth, and Mitchell Cole) find themselves lost on a eerie road surrounded by ominous woods. Convinced they've missed a turn-off, they circle back, only to find the road completely blocked, and some real dangers out to get them should they try to leave their car. So they turn around again and continue to drive, hoping to finally reach a turn off, or an end.

Questions like, "How can they possibly keep driving and not run out of gas?", and "Aren't they going to get hungry? Or have to use the bathroom?" are answered pretty quickly. Whatever alternative universe, purgatory, or nightmare these travelers have found themselves stuck in has taken care of any impediment to their continuing to just...continue.

Sure, the metaphor may seem a little obvious at times, but I enjoyed seeing this car full of Gen Z'ers react to the situation they've found themselves in, and I found myself contemplating whether I'd do the same. (In some case yes; in other cases, most definitely not.) Writer and director Alexander Ullom manages to turn what could have been cinema's most repetitive road movie into something original and thought provoking.

By now, Coyote vs. Acme's long and winding road to a theatrical release is pretty well known. Originally completed and set for a theatrical release in 2023, Warner Bros. ultimately decided to shelve the movie and take the tax write-off instead. 

One would assume they did this because they knew the movie stunk, and figured they'd get more from a tax write-off than from theatrical profits, but test screenings had been positive, so I still can't really wrap my head around this business decision. (The Wikipedia page delves further into the various offers and rejections that were made before it was finally acquired by Ketchup Entertainment, and released to theaters this week.)

Those test screening reactions were not a fluke. Coyote vs. Acme is genuinely entertaining, and probably the best animation and live action hybrid since Who Framed Roger Rabbit? 

The film opens with Wile E. Coyote making another attempt to capture the Road Runner with the help of some Acme products. Per usual, those products backfire, and he fails. When he sees a commercial on TV from a personal injury attorney (Will Forte) who specializes in faulty Acme product claims, the Coyote hires him.

The Coyote in this movie is the silent Coyote of the Road Runner cartoons, and not the "Super Genius" speaking version that showed up in cartoons with Bugs Bunny (who, of course, has a cameo). I mention this because his silence, and the slapstick comedy that comes as a result of it, leads to some of the movie's biggest laughs, and dare I say, some of its most touching moments as well. (Was I expecting to get chocked up during a courtroom scene featuring the Coyote and the Road Runner? Definitely not!)

As someone who still watches classic Warner Bros. cartoons almost every Saturday morning, I was prepared to cringe through this as much as I cringed through Space Jam (apologies to Space Jam fans, it just wasn't my...you know). Coyote vs. Acme doesn't quite reach the sublime level of the best Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies cartoons, but it's the first feature film to come close.

Weekend Mullings - The Odyssey

When it comes to Christopher Nolan movies, more often than not, I come away from them impressed, but rarely enamored, and The Odyssey is no different. There are some moments that are undeniably awesome. But there are also a lot of moments that left me wanting more.

After ten years at war, Odysseus (Matt Damon) is trying to get home to his wife Penelope (Anne Hathaway) and son Telemachus (Tom Holland), but the gods are not making it easy on him or his men. Essentially lost at sea, whenever they find land, their attempts to find shelter and provisions are thwarted at almost every turn from the likes of a Cyclops, cannibalistic giants, and a witch who is not fond of strangers, especially men.

These encounters are the highlight in this three hour epic, with the run-in with the witch Circe (Samantha Morton) being a particular fave. (Can we get Morton in a spin-off based on the novel by Madeline Miller now, please?) But like many of the encounters the men have with the more magical aspects of their journey, it is too short. Odysseus's encounter with Circe seemingly lasts about 20 minutes, as opposed to the year he actually spends with her in the original story. Plenty of time is given to the numerous battles against both the sea, and other men, but we are given only a brief and foggy hazed view of the Sirens?

Also woefully underutilized are Lupita Nyong'o as Helen of Troy (and her twin sister Clytemnestra), a fact that I can't say for certain was influenced by the racists who were outraged by her casting, but can certainly imagine won't upset them, and Zendaya as Athena, who sometimes stands along side Odysseus (only he can see her) looking disappointed, or occasionally offering some platitudes. 

The Odyssey is the very definition of an epic movie, but I guess I was just expecting to be a little more wowed by it all. That it's a technical achievement can't be disputed. The entire film was shot on IMAX, which, if you ever seen the size of an IMAX camera, you know must have been an odyssey unto itself. With that in mind I was expecting it to look a little...better? Action scenes are often blurry and confusing. The lands Odysseus find himself visiting are...dull. And Ithaca itself does not look like a place anyone would spend 20 years desperately trying to get back to. And as is often the case in Nolan's films, the sound is...challenging, often unbearably loud with some dialogue hard to understand.

You're also going to have to accept that everyone in this movies speaks with a flat American accent, which ultimately makes as much sense as everyone in this Greek story speaking in some kind of generic British accent, but it still takes some getting used to, especially hearing Telemachus repeatedly refer to Odysseus as "My dad!" 

After all that it may come as a surprise when I say The Odyssey is worth seeing. It is the kind of classic Hollywood epic that deserves to be seen somewhere bigger than your living room. You need to see that Trojan horse in a giant theater. You need to see the Cyclops on a screen the same size as he is. This is a Christopher Nolan movie, don't you want to be impressed?